Sep 28, 2016

Eid 2016

As part of a creative writing class I am taking, we were asked to write a story about our day. That was Monday September 12, 2016.

Eid Al-Adha 2016
Location: Omaha, Nebraska 

I opened my eyes, glazed at the peach wall in front of me and thought: "It is Eid," one of the two main holidays in the Islamic calendar. I reached for my phone near my bed and started scrolling down the many messages I received from my family and friends back home. Pictures of children in new fancy clothing, feasts and many many smiles. 
I woke my husband up to go to work. We put on nice clothes, and we snapped a picture to add to the family album of Eid day memories. The rest of the day was like any other day at work. 
At 8 pm, I decided to visit the refugee family I am mentoring. While driving to their home, I thought to myself: Those poor kids are thousands of miles away from their home, their friends and everything they ever knew in their life. I passed by a dollar store and decided to stop and pick up something for them. In my mind, I was trying to do something for them but in the same time for myself. Seeing children's' smiles reminds me of home. I bought candy and coloring books, and I went to their house. 
The weather was gray with heavy clouds covering the horizon. I knocked on the door, and the 11-year-old Sobhia yelled: "Auntie." 

Dec 31, 2015

2016 - Chapter II

I like labeling my years, putting a common theme to each year...
Last year was the year of growth and blossom...
This year however, seems different , I just don't feel I am in the same chapter as before.
It is like my whole life until 2015 was a story, and it ended by falling in love and getting married.
"And we lived happily ever after" right?

This is why it is chapter II, where the ever after starts and great things happen in the stable life of partnership.

Dec 2, 2015

Pearls of Personal Wisdom

"A moment that changed my life forever"  

I was lost ... completely lost.. 
Anxiety level was sky high, I barely could sit still 
And my heart was pounding so hard I wished I could stop it for just a moment  

I did not know where I was going with my life nor how to stop the tornado in my head
Yet, from the out side I looked so calm ,I spoke so calmly and I smiled 

At that moment, I told my self I had two choices , either to think and act or let the tornado carry me away 
I remember my exacts location in the park, when I told him:

We are in this car together, 
some times I will panic and you will have to drive, other time you will be paralyzed with fear and I will drive.. 
we will sing together, laugh, cry and fight  
but no one is getting out of this car.. 
we ride together in life …. 

I couldn’t believe I said that, I waited few minutes.. to comprehend it myself… it made so much sense… 
I did not think about it … it just came out…
And It kept repeating it self in my mind after that 
It is interesting how we say something and it resonates with us for a long time 

The moment I understood what I said was the moment I felt in control of my tornado … It was not going to carry me away anymore..  

Love made sense … partnership made sense .. and my whole life after that made sense.. 

More Secrets of Adulthood

Being an adult could be challenging at times, but mostly it is fun ....
The "Child me" can't help but to admire the wisdom the "Adult me" collected over the years.  So I decided to share more of my secret adulthood wisdom with the "Children you are"

Beautiful things are everywhere, you just need to see them

Think of others, and be thankful of what you have

Have compassion, even with the smallest creatures

We all get our share of happiness, we just need to appreciate it

Bad things happen, to all people and you are not an exception

Death is a part of life, the sooner we understand it, the happier we are 

Nov 19, 2015


صورة التقطتها أثناء زيارتي الى أحد مخيمات اللاجئين في لبنان في شهر يناير ٢٠١٥

أضع معطفي الصوفي و شالي وقبعتي 
أقوم من سريري بصعوبة لأشعل المدفأة 
و أنعم بالدفئ قليلا قبل حمامي الصباحي الدافئ 
أرتدي ملابسي .. معطفي الصوفي .. شالي و قبعتي . و أتأكد أن كل بقعة من جسدي مغطاة بعناية لئلا 
 تتسلل الريح  الباردة لجسدي 
في هذا اللحظة ينتابني 
منظر الأطفال في جبال لبنان الباردة 
و الثلج يحيط بخيامهم
و الريح تعصف أجسامهم الضئيلة 

أدعو الله من قلبي 
أن يخفف عليهم شتاء هذا العام 
ويحنن قلوب البشر عليهم 
ليتركوا صراعاتهم الطائفية و مشاكلهم اليومية 
ويتجهوا بأنظارهم الى هؤلاء الصغار 

أطفال الصقيع 

Sep 16, 2015

The Story of Fall

Today, while drinking my morning coffee and looking through the window, I realized it is Mid-September. It is fall once again.
And I decided to write something hopeful in response to the overwhelming, heartbreaking news we hear everyday from the Middle East.
To Syria, to Gaza, to Iraq, to Yemen and to all countries who leave no choice for their people but to flee, I dedicate this morning thought.

It is fall once again …
The green leaves are turning yellow… orange .. and brown…
The colorful leaves are blown by the wind in all directions….
Falling …. In all directions …
Drying out and becoming brown and more fragile…
Few leaves hold tightly to the trees …
In the face of heavy rain and cold wind….
They hold tightly…. For days… for weeks … for months …
Until their power fatigues… And they fall…
Like all other leaves… Fall..
Leaving the naked trees to face the brutal winter alone…
Trees stand gracefully…
Knowing that no matter how long the winter takes….
Spring will arrive…
Fresh green leaves will sparkle with morning dew…
Once again …
Flowers will blossom in all colors and shapes…
Spring will arrive to wash away the tears of fall….

Once upon a time I was the Fall, and my leaves fell down leaving me naked,
Once upon a time I was a Syrian Child
Living in Damascus in a white house with a fountain in the heart of the yard…
I spent my childhood playing around with the smell of flowers overwhelming my spirit …
Until one day,
War began, and all I could hear is the constant bombing
I closed my eyes and tried to look at the flowers only..
Until the bomb reached my home..
Then we had to flee.
Leaving our home … our flowers and my old dolls…
I lost my childhood living on the boarders between life and death, between my mother and my scared siblings….
My leaves fell down …
and my green spirit became brown …

Being a refugee …. Having no land
And a dream of past home haunted me …
Today…. I am German ... I have a land that carries me ... and I carry my land in my heart ...
Today I am able to dream … that my leaves will one day grow back …
And spring will come to my life once again..