Oct 8, 2018

تأملات في الأطفال

https://www.greaterthangatsby.com/newborn-essentials/
Adapted from Greater than Gatsby website



تذكرني السنة الأولى لحياة الأطفال بالفراش الطفل في الشرنقة
هكذا هم نلفهم في ملاءاتنا البيضاء
يولدون بأعين مفتحة وأصوات عالية
وكل ما يتلو ذلك تحديات ممتزجة بدهشة
التحدي في تحريك رؤوسهم الصغيرة تجاه النور و الدهشة في متابعة ذرات الغبار السحرية المتطايرة
التحدي في سحب المقبض الحديدي البارد و الدهشة في لمس المطر المتدفق من رشاش الحمام
التحدي في رفع أنفسهم للوقوف على طرف النافذة و الدهشة من العالم القابع خلف الزجاج

يلتصقون بنا
يضعوا رؤوسهم الصغيرة لتحط في أحضاننا
ويمسكون بإصبعنا بأيديهم الصغيرة  
ليتغلبو على تحدياتهم
ليتحدوا العالم
وليشاركونا الدهشة

في نهاية العام و
في نهاية السنة
في نهاية المطاف
ينطلقوا الى الحياة
ينشرو أجنحتهم للتحليق في سماء الحياة
يجرو بعيداً ليطاردوا أطراف قوس قزح
و نبقى نحن
نتمسك بملاءاتهم البيضاء في أيدينا  
لنقضي باقي أعمارنا في محاولة إعادتهم الى الشرنقة





Oct 2, 2018

Stepping into life

Image result for baby dad hand





Today marks my day 284 in this world. I still remember my first day. My arrival was rough and uncomfortable. I was dragged out of my warm and cozy Mommy into a room full of big humans, surrounding me in a setting that seemed to be celebratory of my arrival. I truly did not want to leave Mommy, nor did I request such migration. There, was warm, comfortable, with pretty efficient food supply. I never had to demand food. It was freely provided upon my well. The outside world was cold, really really cold. It was shiny and noisy too. I had spent most of my life in Nebraska, but didn’t realize how cold it was until that day. The good news is, Mommy was still there for me. She hugged me and cuddled me in a skin to skin fashion. That was super awesome.

I was tired and exhausted and needed to sleep. Turned out, I could still sleep in the outside world, and I immediately passed out. Many big humans carried me and hugged me. I later learned that some of the big humans there that day were family. I didn’t know what that meant, nor did I care to be honest. Mommy was all I knew, all I needed, and all I loved. Despite all the ups and down I had to go through that day, one thing made my day. I finally saw how Mommy looks like. She is young and beautiful. I must admit, she is the most beautiful human I ever seen, not that I saw many. She has beautiful silky and brownish hair, like an angel. Trust me, I know angels because I had just come from heaven. She has a lively and gorgeous smile. When I grow up, I want to be as beautiful as Mommy.

As for the other big humans, they quickly started to grow on me. I was overwhelmed to realize this, but Mama Hanai was to be my second Mommy. She is the best. It became compellingly apparent from my first week on earth that Mama Hanai was much more experienced in this whole Mommy business than Mommy. She would take care of me when needed. Later in life, she would always be on my side. The other big human was Baba Adel, my best friend. I later discovered that he gets me the most. He would always play and laugh with me. He is very patient and loving. I think we have many things in common.

Anyways, back to the story. In my first day, I discovered crying. It is a physical activity, sort of an emotional burst to express and communicate hunger, tiredness, sleepiness, among other things. It was a great discovery, and boy did I overuse it?

Later that day while I was exercising my favorite activity of crying, a stranger walked in. He was baled and handsome. He initially ignored me and kissed Mommy. He kissed me and hugged me like I was his. That man was Daddy. He was kind and loving. I saw in his eyes that he loved me so much. He came from a very very far place we call home.

I must admit, I felt comfortable with him, but I had bigger problems to deal with. My free food supply was no longer there and I had to feed myself from my own mouth by latching into Mommy. It was so difficult and inefficient. But I seemed to have no other choice 😒. I failed and failed and finally succeeded. The world is a tough place, but Mommy was always there for me.

We left that that place they call Hospital and they took me home in a blue moving thing they call car.

Days after days and months after month, this beautiful and fascinating world is becoming more and more interesting to me. What a wonderful world it is. Every day, I would discover a new thing, a new song, a new color, and new food. One day, Baba Adel gave me lemon, and I loved it. I got the sense that it was supposed to be funny, but I didn’t know why. Big humans are quite strange.

The world has moving and flying things. How and why I am yet to discover. I have learned that big humans are no longer fascinated with the world as I’m, but I don’t think I will be any less curious as I grow up. Are you kidding? That plastic bag makes funny noises. That remote control has buttons to press. There are green trees and walking animals. But the most fascinating and wowing thing I ever seen is that magical machine, the iPhone. Oh that is my favorite by far. It’s a card that plays my favorite song هالصيصان and many others.

Daddy would disappear during day time and show up at night. I love it when he comes. He would play with me tirelessly. He makes me laugh. I laugh so loud with him. He would change my diaper while singing for me.

Later in life, daddy stopped showing up. But suddenly would pop up in the magical machine. I think it’s because we are back to Nebraska. I love to see him. He sings for me and laughs with me. But that’s ok. Baba Adel makes me laugh too. So I’m not complaining.

My body is growing and so as my ability to move. Which is great, because now I can reach stuff on my own. Big humans try to stop me from reaching things sometimes. But I don’t really care. I’m so excited to grow up and be with my lovely family. This world is a wonderful place. 😍

Iyad Aldalooj, A.K.A. Dad
September 14, 2018  

Nov 23, 2017

On Children عن الأولاد

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Kahlil Gibran

أولادكم ليسوا لكم أولادكم  انهم أبناء الحياة المشتاقة إلى نفسها,
بكم يأتون إلى العالم, ولكن ليس منكم. ومع أنهم يعيشون معكم, فهم ليسوا ملكاً لكم.
أنتم تستطيعون أن تمنحوهم محبتكم, ولكنكم لا تقدروا أن تغرسوا فيهم بذور أفكاركم, لأن لهم أفكارأً خاصةً بهم.
 وفي طاقتكم أن تصنعوا المساكن لأجسادهم. ولكن نفوسهم لا تقطن في مساكنكم. فهي تقطن في مسكن الغد, الذي لا تستطيعون أن تزوروه حتى ولا في أحلامكم.
وإن لكم أن تجاهدوا لكي تصيروا مثلهم. ولكنكم عبثاً تحاولون أن تجعلوهم مثلكم. لأن الحياة لا ترجع إلى الوراء, ولا تلذ لها الإقامة في منزل الأمس.
أنتم الأقواس وأولادكم سهام حية قد رمت بها الحياة عن أقواسكم. فإن رامي السهام ينظر الى  العلامة المنصوبة على طريق اللانهاية, فيلويكم بقدرته لكي تكون سهامه سريعة بعيدة المدى.
 لذلك, فليكن التواؤكم بين يدي رامي السهام الحكيم لأجل المسرة والغبطة. لأنه, كما يحب السهم الذي يطير من قوسه, هكذا يحب القوس الذي يثبت بين يديه”.
جبران خليل جبران


Nov 17, 2017

ما قبل البداية

IMAGE SOURCE: FOXY PHOTOGRAPHY



تشغلنا دوما لحظات البداية ولحظات النهاية
الموت و الولادة
بداية الحب و نهايته
قلما نتحدث عن ما قبل البداية 
عن ما قبل الميلاد
ووجود الروح في قلب الروح

أحمد الله في كل يوم أنه خلقني أنثى 
لأعيش هذه الرحلة و أستشعر هذه التجربة
رحلة انسانية تعيدنا الى أصولنا و فطرتنا حد النخاع 
حتى  للننسى من نكون سوى أننا بشر  
رحلة تأخذنا من حدود المكان و الزمان لنتوحد مع مريم و حواء ونساء العالم بداخلنا
يتجلى الكون باستدارته و أزليته في ذواتنا
وذوات الروح الساكنة بداخلنا
ولكنها ليست ملكنا

 في تجربة حمل الروح ما يجيب على كل التساؤلات البشرية 
فيبدو كل شيء جلياً .. واضحا.. وضوح النور 
وتبدو البحيرة صافية تماما.. تماما حتى لنرى تفاصيل الكون في ارواحنا 

لا شيئ في هذا العالم المتسارع.. بأحداثه و شوارعه و أخباره الشنيعة 
قادر على أن يغير مجرى الكون بدواخلنا
فهو تيار روحي جارف
 لا نملك تجاهه سوى أن نستسلم 
و نثق تماما بالقدرة الالهية في أجسادنا بأن تحملنا الى نهاية الرحلة
الى بداية الحياة
بداية حياة أخرى 

تكتب هي بذاتها قصتها 

Nov 22, 2016

هناك





أفاق من نومه على صوت عصفور يستغيث طلباً للدف بشباكه
فتح عينيه ببطئ بحثا عن والدته ..
لم تكن هناك ... لم يكن هو هناك ...
ما عاد هناك هناك..
نظر الى العصفور الذي حلق وراء سربه الى الأفق البعيد ....
الى الدفء ...
نظر حوله الى الجدار الأبيض و المصباح الوحيد في الصالة ..
أشعله ..
و للحظة .. تمنى لو لم يستيقظ .. تمنى لو احتضنه الحلم الى العالم الآخر ..
لاجئ ...Refugee
 الكلمة الوحيدة التي تعلمها في خلال العشرة أيام الماضية
"اسمي عبد الكريم و أنا لاجئ سوري"
أعادها بالانجليزية ...و دمعت عيناه..
خرجت ابنته أمل من غرفتها..
- بابا هل أنت مستيقظ ...
- نعم يا حبيبتي ...
جلست بقربه في الغرفة النصف معتمه و قالت :
- بابا.. هل سنعود الى وطننا؟  
 احتضنها و أشار الى صدرها: وطنك هنا تحملينه معك دوماً ..
-          حتى في المدرسة؟
-          حتى في المدرسة... هيا عودي للنوم..

قبلته و اختفت في الجزء المعتم من الصالة ..
 أغمض عينيه ....
و مازالت أصوات نواعير حماة  تدور في خياله ...


Sep 28, 2016

Eid 2016

As part of a creative writing class I am taking, we were asked to write a story about our day. That was Monday September 12, 2016.

Eid Al-Adha 2016
Location: Omaha, Nebraska 

I opened my eyes, glazed at the peach wall in front of me and thought: "It is Eid," one of the two main holidays in the Islamic calendar. I reached for my phone near my bed and started scrolling down the many messages I received from my family and friends back home. Pictures of children in new fancy clothing, feasts and many many smiles. 
I woke my husband up to go to work. We put on nice clothes, and we snapped a picture to add to the family album of Eid day memories. The rest of the day was like any other day at work. 
At 8 pm, I decided to visit the refugee family I am mentoring. While driving to their home, I thought to myself: Those poor kids are thousands of miles away from their home, their friends and everything they ever knew in their life. I passed by a dollar store and decided to stop and pick up something for them. In my mind, I was trying to do something for them but in the same time for myself. Seeing children's' smiles reminds me of home. I bought candy and coloring books, and I went to their house. 
The weather was gray with heavy clouds covering the horizon. I knocked on the door, and the 11-year-old Sobhia yelled: "Auntie."